Podcast Notes:
Mark 10: 1-15 Then He arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan. And multitudes gathered to Him again, and as He was accustomed, He taught them again.
The Pharisees came and asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” testing Him.And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?”They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.”And Jesus answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter. So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
How does God feel about divorce and why should you care?
God hates divorce. Malachi 2:16: “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the Lord of hosts. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”
We must ask ourselves why???
We gain insight into the many Bible scriptures that discuss divorce, when we understand God’s perspective on marriage. Clearly, marriage is a human relationship that was ordained and instituted by God. His original design was that one man and one woman would be united by the marriage covenant and sexual union for life.
Genesis 2:18, 23-24. “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him. Then the man said, ‘this at last is bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a Man.’ Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Jesus’ point is that a married couple is something that “God has joined together.” Marriage is not of human origin—it originated with God and is part of the way that God designed the human race to live. In saying “let no one separate” a marriage, Jesus taught that divorce is not God’s plan. Once a couple is married, they have been joined together by God Himself, and the union is meant to be for life.
Why did God allow divorce for seemly trivial reasons in the law He gave to Moses?
In Mark 10:3-5 Jesus answered the Pharisees’ question by referring them to what Moses said in Deuteronomy 24:1: “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she loses his favor because he has found something indecent or unacceptable about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house. (Amplified Bible)
Was this unduly harsh and insensitive to the God given value of women and of wives in particular? Who was this addressed to? People who had been enslaved for 400 years and had been emersed in Egyptian idolatry.
In Matthew 19:8 Jesus gives the same explanation for the lower standard for divorce spoken by Moses: “He said to them, because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.”
But Jesus came to fulfill the law and bring a new standard of living filled with truth and mercy to the first century born again Jewish believers and all who would follow after Him in faith. His teaching was designed to lead us back to “how it had been in the beginning” (i.e. according to God’s original plan for his creation).
Divorce and also Remarriage in the Early Church by Dean Taylor
After the death of the apostles, Christianity continued to grow and flourish, even though it was beset by poverty and persecution. When we read the writings of the early Church, we enter a world that is in some ways very different than ours. Persecution and ridicule helped to keep the Church free of converts who would come merely to seek worldly advantage.
First, the early Church saw marriage as a lifelong, unbreakable bond until the death of one of the partners. You can’t miss this point and understand their view. Modern discussions about divorce and remarriage never seem to grasp this point.
When the early Church is considered as a whole, a conspicuous unity is seen considering the subject of divorce and remarriage. In all, twenty-five individual writers and two early councils forbid remarriage after divorce”
Summary of Early Church Doctrine on Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage 90 A.D. – 419 A.D.
If a spouse persists in adulterous behavior and there is no other alternative, the marriage relationship can be terminated by the innocent party (Hermes, Clement, Jerome, Augustine).
Spouses that are divorced for any reason must remain celibate and single as long as both spouses live. Remarriage is expressly prohibited (Hermes, Justin Martyr, Clement, Origen, Basil, Ambrose, Jerome, Augustine).
Whoever marries a divorced person commits adultery (Hermes, Justin Martyr, Clement, Origen, Basil, Ambrose, Jerome, Augustine).
Whoever contracts a second marriage, whether a Christian or not, while a former spouse lives is sinning against God (Justin Martyr, Ambrose).
God does not, and the Church must not, take into account human law when it is in violation of God’s law (Justin Martyr, Origen, Ambrose).
What are the morally negative results of divorce which explain God’s hatred for it?
A weakened witness. Divorce will decimate your personal testimony of the all-sufficient grace of the Lord. “If, as you claim, the Lord’s grace is so sufficient, then why didn’t it enable you and your wife to have a blessed marriage?”
Profound Spiritual Implications. God also hates divorce because it has profound spiritual implications. Jesus looks upon us as His bride. In numerous places in the Old Testament we are told that Jehovah is a jealous God, and He promises that He will never leave or forsake us. Why would we be permitted to do that to our spouses and not be in sin?
Deuteronomy 4:24: “For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God. “
Deuteronomy 31:6. “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:5. Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Jeremiah 3:20. “Surely, as a treacherous wife leaves her husband, so have you been treacherous to me, O house of Israel, declares the Lord.”
2 Corinthians 11:2: “For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.
Song of Solomon 6:3: “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.
Jesus invites each of us, as His “bride,” to the wedding supper of the Lamb. Revelation 19:9: “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.”
Devastation of the Family. Divorce destroys the two-parent family unit and the carnage it inflicts on children is horrendous. When a father leaves the family and the single mother is left struggling to raise her children, the children suffer…, often for life.
Children are often the biggest victims of Divorce. When parents fight, children are often forced to choose sides.
Divorce exacerbates the decline of morality in society. In her book “Guilty: Liberal “Victims” and their Assault on America,” Ann Coulter writes: “Here is the lottery ticket that single mothers are handing their innocent children by choosing (or being force) to raise them without fathers: Controlling for socioeconomic status, race, and place of residence, the strongest predictor of whether a person will end up in prison is that he was raised by a single parent. By 1996, 70 percent of inmates in state juvenile detention centers serving long-term sentences were raised by single mothers. Seventy-two percent of juvenile murderers and 60 percent of rapists come from single-mother homes. Seventy percent of teenage births, dropouts, suicides, runaways, juvenile delinquents, and child murderers involve children raised by single mothers.
Various studies have come up with slightly different numbers, but all the figures are grim. According to the Index of Leading Cultural Indicators, children from single-parent families account for 63 percent of all youth suicides, 70 percent of all teenage pregnancies, 71 percent of all adolescent chemical/substance abuse, 80 percent of all prison inmates, and 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children.
Remarriage After Divorce. We need to understand the Lord’s love for us in order to see why He says Christians are not to divorce and remarry as long as their former spouses are alive. Jesus is to be our standard of what’s required of husbands in a marriage:
Ephesians 5:25, 32-33: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Are there biblical exceptions permitting remarriage after divorce while your former spouse is alive?
The Adultery Exception – first read Matt 5 and Matt 19 below. “Pornea” – what is it and when did it occur? Some claim it only refers to fornication while the couple was engaged but had not entered into the marriage covenant. Others disagree and broadly define “sexual immorality” to cover any type of sex related sin, including pornography.
Matthew 5:32: “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
Matthew 19:9: “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.” (consistent with Mark 10)
The Innocent Spouse Exception. In reality and in God’s eyes, there is no such thing as an “innocent spouse.” Romans 3:23.
Marriage Before Salvation Exception. (Proponents of this exception claim that the prohibition against remarriage does not apply to a divorce between a man and a woman who were not saved because the Lord did not join that couple together).
All of these exceptions fail the test of true scripture (Ps 119:160 – The sum (or entirety) of the word is truth. See 11 reasons cited by John Piper in his 1986 position paper on Divorce and remarriage. They also ignore the clear teaching of Paul in other scriptures including:
Romans 7:2-3: “For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.”
1 Cor 7:39-40: “A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God.”
1 Cor 7:10-11: “But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife is not to leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband is not to divorce his wife.” This “separation without divorcing” is the escape clause for a spouse trapped in an abusive or life-threatening marriage.
God prohibits remarriage after divorce while the former spouse is alive because remarriage eliminates any possibility of reconciliation. Christ calls us to be ambassadors of reconciliation. How much more in our relations with our spouses! The Lord made this imperative clear in the story of Hosea and Gomer. See Hosea 2 and 3. If a deceased divorced spouse does remarry while his or her former spouse is still alive, reconciliation is no longer possible! In 2 Corinthians 5:20 Paul explains that we are all called to be ambassadors of reconciliation.
Is there a different standard concerning remarriage if the departing spouse was not a Christian?
1 Cor 7:12, 15: “But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: “But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.”
What should our attitude be about engaging in fellowship with Christians who were divorced and remarried while their former spouse was alive?
Should a different rule apply concerning leadership in the church?
1 Timothy 3:12: (Paul’s standard for one appointed as a Deacon)
“Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.”
Titus 1:6. (Paul’s standards for one appointed as an Elder of a Bishop)
“If a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination.”
What are the takeaways from all that the Bible has to say about marriage, divorce and remarriage after divorce?
Be really sure the Lord is calling you to marry a certain person. Marriage is for life! Its “for better or worse.” Marriage is a death sentence to “self” and to “selfishness.”
Divorce should never be an option to a sold-out, born-again believer.
Make up your mind about the divorce and remarriage exceptions before you get married. There is no easy out…, except death of your spouse.
See your role, whether you are single or married, as an ambassador of reconciliation for friends who are having their martial struggles…., or for brothers or sisters who are struggling with their spiritual commitment to Christ.
Ponder and pray about how getting a divorce will impact your Christian witness to your unbelieving friends and relatives.
Ask Jesus to show you if you have been a faithful bride to Him. If you are convicted by the Holy Spirit that you have been pursuing other lovers (including your own flesh), then repent and seek that forgiveness that freely flows from His throne to those who are determined to never let go of the “Lover of their souls.”